Easily Irritated? How to Manage That Anger
Anger management can be a difficult task if you are a fiery person who gets annoyed by the smallest of things. Controlling anger is challenging but not impossible and it has great effects on your overall health and mental state, eventually leading to a better quality of life.
Living in modern society can make us all feel a little bit too jumpy at times and we can find it difficult to manage our anger towards various situations, issues, and people. Improving your response to anger and controlling the factors that trigger your inner scream is going to help you in the long term for sure. So, how do you control your anger? Here are some anger management tips for you.
Understand your anger problem
The first step to controlling and solving each problem you have is acknowledging it. If you do not think you have a problem, no tip in the world can help you manage your state of mind and resolve your issues. Anger is a real problem and can be unhelpful in various ways. Yes, anger is bad for your health, and also bad for your relationships with family, friends, co-workers and significant others. Anger is also bad for your mental health; it makes you feel unhappy and frustrated but, most importantly, anger is an ineffective way to deal with people in social interactions.
Anger is, at its core, an intimidation strategy we practice for various reasons: to actually intimidate people but also to help others behave in a manner we see as the correct one.
If you feel like you get angry way too often on things that don’t even matter as much, you may want to look deeper into it and understand if you really have a problem with anger management. It will cost you some time to investigate this problem but it will really do you good in the long run. Being happier and calmer in your relationships with the exterior world means acting and reacting less in an aggressive manner and being able to focus more and manage your anger better. If it helps, you could go visit a psychologist and go deeper into the reasons why you are being so angry at the world and at yourself to understand better what you are dealing with.
Accepting that we have a problem is the first step to dealing with it and ultimately solving it.
Monitor your anger
As much as you can, monitoring your anger can help you in the long run to understand the triggers that make you jumpy and act like this around people you love. It may sound childish, but keeping an anger log is the first step into solving your issues. Try to note down all the things that make you angry – situations, people, objects, whatever it may be. It is recommended to keep this log for at least two weeks to see if there is a pattern. This method will not only give you some insights on your anger but also help you get a detached look at your anger, which can be very helpful when you are dealing with such a problem. Monitor every episode of anger and try to note down each moment of it – frustration, impatience, extreme rage. Split these into the moments of an “anger story” and note down, for each of them, which are the facts. Add a scale for these moments, noting the intensity of anger you felt at that time. If you make this into a habit, you will definitely be able to gain other perspectives on it and realize that you may be acting wrong for no apparent reason.
Think first, speak after
A very good tip you must apply to your anger management strategy is to speak after you think and not vice versa. When you are angry, you say things you will regret later. Try to control your heat and take a few moments to think before you speak. You will be surprised to see how much it can help you and others around you.
Express your anger, when you calm down
Expressing your anger is healthy and natural, but you should try to do it only when you calm down. Express the frustration you are feeling in an assertive way, but try not to get confrontational. Sit down and talk about your anger and about your concerns, highlighting your needs directly and clearly without trying to control the situation or hurting others on purpose. You will see how things can take a better turn almost immediately.
Did you know that physical activity can help you reduce stress, which is a leading cause of anger? If you feel anger escalating again, go for a run, take a brisk walk or do other types of physical activity you enjoy. It will help you calm down and release those anger thoughts.
Sometimes when you are angry, the best thing to do is to take a timeout. No, timeouts are not just for children, you are entitled to a timeout as well if you feel things are stressful. Give yourself a break in a quiet room where you can give yourself space to handle what will come ahead, without triggering your anger once again.
What are the possible solutions?
Stop focusing on what makes you mad when you find yourself in an anger situation, and work on finding possible solutions to address the problem. Depending on what triggers your anger, you can always find a way to fix the problem. Always remember, when you find yourself in such a situation, that anger will never resolve anything but will only make things worse.
So, anger management is difficult and it takes time and patience. You cannot go directly from being constantly angry to be a calm and relaxed person, but you can work at it every day to improve yourself and your health and nurture your relationships. The most important thing you need to understand if you have anger management issues is that you can control it and you will succeed if you put the required effort into it.